The Mind of Shy

Seasonal Affective Disorder....

It's that freakin' time of year when you have to just about cut out of work at lunch to see any G.D. sunlight whatsoever! I can't stand "Standard Time"...like whos bright Fing idea was it for it to get dark at like 5p anyway?!?!?

Take today for instance, I needed to get home to spread the Scotts Winterizer that I bought last damn year on my yard. The instructions say to get it on there in Oct or Nov so I figure I have like OH...TODAY to get it done (yes, I know I have tomorrow..but I can't stand to wait to the VERY last minute). I rushed home to a semi-dark afternoon and before I could walk off the front lawn even once!...PITCH FREAKIN' BLACK! So now I do have to wait until the last minute to get the back yard in tomorrow. So as I am lugging my Scotts Speedy 3000 (yes I am a brand whore) back across the yard to the shed, it occurs to me.... Just at the time of year that the weather is turning colder than a witch's titty, you are hit with all these holidays to remind you that you didn't save enough/make enough damn money all year to show a little gratitude to all the people that are probably about to show their gratitude for you, and just to put a little icing on that misery cupcake, the days just shrink and shrink...until day and night are only measured by the fullness of your Tivo [ OH LOOK...Apprentice!...There must have been a Thursday ].

What I am trying to say is, I typically experience a little depression this time of year....this condition can be aggravated by things like $400 dollars worth of locked up Calipers on my Jeep, but that's another blog entirely (I will tell you that the moral of the jeep story is "The auto place closest to the beer store is not always the cheapest").

I was thinking of changing my hair to shake things up a bit for winter

MY MAGICAL SWOOP WON THE IRONBOWL!!!!! Just minutes into the game Cox threw that first touchdown and I knew Schwoopty power was in EFFECT! I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to check the swoop.....the perch, the swirl, the angle of incline....it all looked right and I knew the tigers were honed in to the expert football leadership I was mentally directing towards the field. "QUARTERBACK SACK!!! QUARTERBACK SACK!!!!", I was thinking and out of no where McClover was on top of tender Croyle (how you think you gonna get a Heisman and you can't even stand up for the sack! Brodie you big wus). What POWER I was feeling, could anyone around me tell that I was CONTROLLING THIS GAME WITH THE SWOOP?!?!?!?! I knew I had to take it easy in the second half....we had the lead and my lack of focus even got Al Borges tackled (sorry dude).

Afterwards we headed to Toomers Corner where the mob of fans was staggering to and fro and chanting Auburn mantra's. I have heard Tommy compare victory to the smell of burning lips and assholes, but for me it will forever remain a mixture of beer, broken glass, and moist toliet paper. That's just an Auburn thing.....

What you should know about my week is that I am on call. And this hasn't been one of those paged with a user hung up in the database sorta oncall weeks, it has been a terse and send dumps to IBM sorta, everyone on site monitoring systems sorta, why the hell am I in a class this week, sorta 65 hour deal. So I have been more than a little tense about this weekend's IRONBOWL match. I've known all week that I had to really bring my "A" game. I have worn ORANGE or BLUE or ORANGE and BLUE all week long. I even brought out the ALUMNI pin on a couple of the days when I thought my color combo was weak. I have the all clear from my management to be at the game today, although my pager could very well go off.....

As if that isn't enough to deal with, Laura found a marble like lump in her breast and we have been examing and mammograming that bad boy all week (looks like a fybroid, probably nothing, we're getting it cut out, end of story), plus I have been reviewing contracts for the 142K lakefront camp site we are about to purchase and build on. So I have been about 6 seconds away from my next panic attack all week...not a typical week for Shy. IRONBOWL weekend was here and I was looking for a sign.....

This morning when I woke up, I found that sign. It's the hair. I can't explain it for those that don't already know cause there just isn't time, but I have a SWOOP to my hair and today, it is a magical swoop. I knew it the minute I saw it in the mirror this morning. I worked real hard not to get it wet in the shower and it suffered a little damage, but it is still magical and I believe it will bring AUBURN victory if I can just get through the day without losing it. I wouldn't let Laura touch it with her hands, but she did spray it down with hairspray to help with the prevervation.

WAR EAGLE!!!!!

Never do I feel more queer than when I am surrounded by a mob of rebel flag wavin', battle dress uniform wearin', Van Hagar singin' rednecks. That being a given, I have to admit that I really had a good time at the season finally homecoming show of the Blue Angels. Laura and I wanted to do something with her dad so that he won't be so lonely. Laura's dad used to be a pilot for Eastern, so he really digs planes. The other thing that he is into is John Deere tractors. I think we are going to try to get to a tractor show with him at some point when Laura has more vacation. Maybe I can even learn to drive the RV at some point.
I am turning into such a red neck.......

It's good to be home finally. Laura and I had the best time in Miami, then we spent a day at Disney World and finally after we got home, we turned around and headed down to Pensacola with her Father to see the Blue Angels (haven't downloaded the pictures off the camera yet). Being out of work for two weeks is gonna make it an extra special bitch of a day tomorrow. Not only am I working a Monday (I am usually off on Monday's), but I am probably way behind on all my projects from being out so long. Oh well...the ME time was nice. 

I left myself only one chance to take the certification test this week. I made sure I drank plenty of beer last night at the Palace (a south beach gay bar) and then bright and early at 7a this morning I presented my slightly hung over, barely awake self at the testing area....with no reservation...and asked to be worked in. Just under an hour later I emerged as an IBM Certified Advanced System Administrator for WebSphere Application Server z/OS.


I just wanna tape my glasses up and play Doom for the rest of the day......

Laura will be here tomorrow!!! I am so excited. It's nice to be in a beautiful town, but even something good is lacking without Laura. I hope she likes this town as much as I do. If she has a good time, I am going to try to talk her into coming back for Aqua Girl weekend sometime. We usually do the whole lesborama in Pensacola for Memorial day, but at some point we will be in our 40's and we may have to look at elevating our game a little and trying to participate in something that not only is fun and full of lesbians, but has some redeeming social value at the same time. 100 percent of the net proceeds from Aqua Girl weekend benefit the Women's Community Fund, a not-for-profit-foundation whose primary mission is to promote the equality, strength, health, and visibility of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender women.


In cause you haven't gotten enough travel guide information from me about this city I have adopted, consider the following if you find yourself here:


World Erotic Art Museum

I keep driving past this place on Washington and thinking I need to check it out. Maybe I will have more of an update once I get around to that.


The Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival

I have never been here in April, and I have never been to a film festival, but this just sounds like a no brainer to me. If you are even half the queer that I am, I know you will sit through hours and hours of the most horrible gay and lesbian films imaginable just to find that one gem of a flick that reflects our community in a touching and real way. The next Incredibly True Adventures... could be out there just waiting for me to get a hold of.


Olivia Cruises

Many of these cruises leave from Miami. If money is a problem, but not your problem hop a boat to the galapagos islands, or the caribbean islands (women only).


No matter the reason, no matter the season, Miami is just a great place to visit. Laura is a huge fan of New York and I am hoping that when she gets here she will see all the culture of the Big Apple packed into the little blue and pink humid boxes that line Collins Ave.

Miami is just about one of my favorite towns in the country. I am pretty sure I could live here if I never had to leave south beach and I never had to park. I went out with a couple of guys that I work with last night and we ended up eating down in the Lincoln Road area. So this is a pretty cool area here on the beach. It is a little like New Orleans if you remove some of the alcohol and alot of the fear of homocide. It's not as many people as you would have in New Orleans, but it is nice and you see more families. Lincoln is closed for traffic for the most part and the eating joints sorta spill out into the road with their tables. The weather is always great it seems so this is a perfect spot to just camp out and people watch. If you are a good people watcher (and I am not) you will probably see a celeb or two. They seem to just mingle in with the rest of everyone down here. On my last visit I saw Lenny Kravitz, Ice-T, and Mr. Big. There are so many different people to watch on South beach....I am amazed at the variety of people and cultures. Coming from being a big ole white girl in Alabama, it feels sorta good to be a little fish in a huge sea of exotic other little fish. I don't know that you can have an experience like that in to many places in this country....to feel so minor as a white person, or an english speaking person, or an american. It is liberating in a way I wouldn't expect everyone to understand.




(Lincoln road as seen through the Mind of Shy about 7 Molson Canadian deep)